I’ve had so many people ask me what my business coaching was all about. What it entailed. What it focused on. I realized I had been a bit vague about it. Mostly because it’s a fairly unique approach to any other sort of business coaching I have ever heard of before.

Over the past 8 months, I have stretched and pushed my muscle of inward thinking more than I ever have before EVER in my entire life. I have never thought about myself more. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, and kinda scary.

The process was more therapeutic than anything. It was an indepth look at who I am. Not really a marketing plan, or rebrand, just an inward look at what makes up ME as a person. What is my first impression on people when they first meet me? Why do people love me? (talk about a hard thing to think about!) and even harder, when people don’t like me, what’s usually the reason? And the hardest and perhaps easiest  at the same time, was figuring out how my heart views the world. My deep, core temperament.

I fought against most of what I learnt. I had it in my head I would discover this person hidden inside me that I had always wanted to be. This impressive person who would surprise me and make me more confident with myself. Instead it was just me. An amplified version of the me I had known all along. Parts of me I had hidden because I was scared. At first, to be honest, I was disappointed. Where was this impressive person I was searching for?  This better version of myself? I really struggled.

I was afraid to own myself out of fear my husband wouldn’t like me anymore. (This sounds so silly writing out but seriously I was!) I was afraid my friends would find out just how sentimental I actually am and take a step back. I was nervous to share how I viewed the world. I am a people pleaser. The idea that I may not be able to please everyone (although an obvious idea) was so hard to come to terms with.

I shared my struggles with a close friend over breakfast. She had been through the same coaching herself and had the best perspective. I have this great privilege and gift of knowing who I am. Most people go their entire lives now really knowing who they are. Knowing this, I now had a choice. I can own who I am, really acknowledge it and embrace it, or I could continue to adjust myself to be who I think the world wants me to be. I could continue to make small changes to my personality to fit in with whoever I was hanging out with.

That night Jim Carey’s speech popped up on facebook and it blew me away. I was in tears, I had goosebumps and I watched it twice through. It was exactly what we had discussed at breakfast and more. If you’ve never seen it, go watch it now. Seriously. (and while you’re at it read “Daring Greatly” and watch all Brene Brown’s Ted Talks….haha while I am plugging other people’s shit may as well go all out!)

“Your need for acceptance can make you invisible….risk being seen in all your glory.”

It’s scary and relieving all at once. The pressure of worrying about whether or not people like me it diminishing. The needs to censor myself out of fear is slowly going away. I understand myself better than I ever have before, and I love myself more than I ever have before. It’s so freeing to be able to now say, this is me.

To risk being YOU everyday is a muscle that needs worked. It takes practice. I work at it every single day. I am constantly reminding myself to lean into the discomfort. Because it is uncomfortable. Lean into that, stepping away hurts only us. It damages our confidence. It chips away at our self worth. It numbs us. It makes us doubt our relationships, because how could they truly love us without truly knowing who we are?

Life is too short to be somebody else. Why miss out on the feeling of pure joy of being loved by people who know you inside and out. Fear traps us in our own doubt that no one will like us if we let ourselves be seen. We start to doubt our words, our actions, everything we do.There’s no greater feeling than telling that fear to screw off. To let yourself be seen, and having people see you back, and love you for you. Yes, it’s scary as shit, but I’m finding that the things that scare the shit out of me are often the most worthwhile. I’m finding I have less regrets, I am doubting myself less, I am building friendships that are so much deeper and meaningful than ever before. My marriage is stronger than it’s ever been….because my husband sees me.

So lean in. Lean in hard. Lean in so hard you jump in with both feet. Embrace you. Tell fear to screw off. Stop listening to what others think. (because in the words of the great T-Swift, “…the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate”)

You ARE worth the risk.

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