Only one day left.
There is only one day left, ONE DAY, left of my twenties. One tiny 24 hour day. That’s all.
10 years ago I remember exclaiming to another 20 year old friend, “Ohmygosh in TEN years we will be 30!!!” as if it was so far away, as if it never would really happen, because really, at 20, 30 seems SO old. I could have kids! Or a career, or be living with a BOY!
As D-Day approaches, I’ve had mixed feelings. Mostly of indifference. Really it’s just a number. 30 is the new 20 right? And reminding myself that some of the coolest and BEST people I know are over 30.
But this past week, as it crept closer and closer and friends oh so lovingly reminded me “hey only 4 more days left in your twenties!” I started to feel a bit of panic. I haven’t travelled as much as I wanted. I had more responsibilities than I wanted. I haven’t accomplished as much business wise as I wanted. I’m not as healthy as I hoped. And I only had x amount of days to get there! I felt I had failed by not creating a “things to do before I turn 30 list”. I felt I had all these things I should have done to celebrate the ending of a decade.
And then I remembered something one of those oh-so-cool over 30 year old friends I am so grateful to have said to me last year at a photography conference. She said she really became herself when she turned 30. She stopped caring what other people thought. She really started living with confidence, and so far her 30’s were the best years of her life so far. She said turning 30 shouldn’t be filled with dread, it should be filled with celebration because the best part of your life isn’t over, it’s really just starting.
With that in mind I took a giant step back and took a look at my life. I do live with a boy. And it’s AWESOME. I do have kids, and a career. But I don’t think it matters what you’ve accomplished or what you have. Who defines what success is anyway? Who was it who stupidly decided that 30 was the year in which you evaluate your entire life thus far and decide if you’ve done enough? Who gave us this sense that turning 3o is the big end of some massive part of our life that we will never get back?
I intend to make 30 a big deal, in a positive way. Rather than seeing a door close, I’m gonna open one. I’m going to say goodbye to the un-sureness about life that clung on from teen years into my twenties. I am going to celebrate 30 surrounded by the people I love the most! I am going to dance my way into this next decade, fully embracing who I am as a person! I’m going to do all those things I want to, not because I feel I should have done them already but because I have so much life left to live. I mean really, I’m only turning 30 ;)
